Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Things that make me crazy

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about some things that piss me off, make me crazy or just leave me scratching my head and saying "huh?" In no particular order.

1. Women who wear lip liner 15 shades darker than both their natural lip color and their lipstick. Did they miss the Oprah/Sally/Phil/What Not to Wear episode when this was addressed. It's suppose to match your lipstick. If your lipstick wears off, leaving said liner, reapply.

2. Drawn on eyebrows. More specifically, eyebrows drawn on in the WRONG location. I truly don't get this. They shave/wax/pluck them all off. Then draw them on. But a lot of people I see, look startled, all the time. Makes me want to check over my shoulder, make sure there isn't something hurtling at me. One time I saw a woman at Subway who had drawn them on in the right location, but then on closer expansion I realized they expanded on to her temple in a curly-q design. There's one woman, I swear, if they had been any higher they would have been in her hairline.

3. Skater shoes. Really hate those because it seems that wearing them makes it completely impossible for the wearer to PICK UP THEIR FEET. The FKM had a pair for a while, but after watching him walk on the backs of them I decided no more of that.

4. Heelies. Are we so lazy now that we must wheel everywhere? I want to clothesline the kids coming at me in the grocery store.

5. Skinny girl clothes in big girls sizes. Now I am overweight. I know this. But there are some things that should not be made in plus sizes. Spandex comes to mind.

6. Super low rise jeans. It makes everyone, even the skinny girls, look like they have a bicycle tire around their waist.

7. People who are waiting for an elevator and try to jump in as I'm trying to get out. Here's a little physics lesson. You and I can not occupy the same space at the same time. Therefor, I must get OUT of the elevator before you can get IN. One of these days I'm going to stand at the doors and as they open I'm going to yell "bugga bugga."

8. People who let their kids run around the restaurant. This makes me nuts because they invariably almost knock over the staff, or poor little old ladies with walkers. People please, restaurants can be dangerous and if your "darling" tot manages to run into a waiter with a full tray who can't see them, I don't feel bad for the kid when they end up wearing somebodies dinner.

9. People who assume I'm Christian, then when finding out I'm not, try to convince me I'm wrong. Fortunately this doesn't happen often.

10. Related to #9, people who make broad general statements assuming everyone in the room is Christian. News flash, your negative comments about Samhain (Halloween) show you to be a narrow-minded bigot.

11. Certain ex-friends who think it's perfectly OK to make excuses for my abusive ex. He is a shit and no matter how much you blame me for the divorce, he's still a shit. Maybe when his second wife leaves him you'll figure it out.

Sorry for the rant. My allergies are kicking my ass. I have had allergies all my life and I took shots for a while and that helped. But the immunity has worn off and I'm miserable because god damn everything is blooming and we're having wind storms. For those interested, I'm allergic to dirt and everything that grows in it.

Knitting news, the 800 pound gorilla is gone. I redid the band, sewed on the button, sewed on my "From the Needles of Emilee" and took it to work. Stacy should come by soon to get it. It's officially off of my list. Now I'm working on Jamie's Shrug, FKM's sweater, KM's socks, FKM's socks and a tote bag. When those are done, I'm knitting nothing but socks for ME.

Later, gotta find some more allergy meds.


Anonymous said...

Ummmm, FYI: just so you know, sometimes people lose their eyebrow hairs... and have to draw them in which is not an easy feat to make it look "natural." it should really be done in powder for a more natural look, rather than pencil, but it's not like this is taught anywhere... either that or go around eyebrowless - which can be a more startling look.

Emilee said...

Well, great, my first anonymous comment. And it's about eyebrows. I wasn't talking about those people who unfortunately lose their hair in any location. Having spent the last year losing a LOT of my hair from the Lupus, I understand the trauma. I'm talking about the people who do it ON PURPOSE. This appears to be a fad here where I live. My grandma's had thinned considerably, but she managed to at least put them where they belonged and not somewhere near her hair line. I mean come on, surely you can tell if you missed your brow bone by 3 inches. It's called a brow bone for a reason.