Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Things that make me crazy

So, I've been thinking a lot lately about some things that piss me off, make me crazy or just leave me scratching my head and saying "huh?" In no particular order.

1. Women who wear lip liner 15 shades darker than both their natural lip color and their lipstick. Did they miss the Oprah/Sally/Phil/What Not to Wear episode when this was addressed. It's suppose to match your lipstick. If your lipstick wears off, leaving said liner, reapply.

2. Drawn on eyebrows. More specifically, eyebrows drawn on in the WRONG location. I truly don't get this. They shave/wax/pluck them all off. Then draw them on. But a lot of people I see, look startled, all the time. Makes me want to check over my shoulder, make sure there isn't something hurtling at me. One time I saw a woman at Subway who had drawn them on in the right location, but then on closer expansion I realized they expanded on to her temple in a curly-q design. There's one woman, I swear, if they had been any higher they would have been in her hairline.

3. Skater shoes. Really hate those because it seems that wearing them makes it completely impossible for the wearer to PICK UP THEIR FEET. The FKM had a pair for a while, but after watching him walk on the backs of them I decided no more of that.

4. Heelies. Are we so lazy now that we must wheel everywhere? I want to clothesline the kids coming at me in the grocery store.

5. Skinny girl clothes in big girls sizes. Now I am overweight. I know this. But there are some things that should not be made in plus sizes. Spandex comes to mind.

6. Super low rise jeans. It makes everyone, even the skinny girls, look like they have a bicycle tire around their waist.

7. People who are waiting for an elevator and try to jump in as I'm trying to get out. Here's a little physics lesson. You and I can not occupy the same space at the same time. Therefor, I must get OUT of the elevator before you can get IN. One of these days I'm going to stand at the doors and as they open I'm going to yell "bugga bugga."

8. People who let their kids run around the restaurant. This makes me nuts because they invariably almost knock over the staff, or poor little old ladies with walkers. People please, restaurants can be dangerous and if your "darling" tot manages to run into a waiter with a full tray who can't see them, I don't feel bad for the kid when they end up wearing somebodies dinner.

9. People who assume I'm Christian, then when finding out I'm not, try to convince me I'm wrong. Fortunately this doesn't happen often.

10. Related to #9, people who make broad general statements assuming everyone in the room is Christian. News flash, your negative comments about Samhain (Halloween) show you to be a narrow-minded bigot.

11. Certain ex-friends who think it's perfectly OK to make excuses for my abusive ex. He is a shit and no matter how much you blame me for the divorce, he's still a shit. Maybe when his second wife leaves him you'll figure it out.

Sorry for the rant. My allergies are kicking my ass. I have had allergies all my life and I took shots for a while and that helped. But the immunity has worn off and I'm miserable because god damn everything is blooming and we're having wind storms. For those interested, I'm allergic to dirt and everything that grows in it.

Knitting news, the 800 pound gorilla is gone. I redid the band, sewed on the button, sewed on my "From the Needles of Emilee" and took it to work. Stacy should come by soon to get it. It's officially off of my list. Now I'm working on Jamie's Shrug, FKM's sweater, KM's socks, FKM's socks and a tote bag. When those are done, I'm knitting nothing but socks for ME.

Later, gotta find some more allergy meds.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Laundry Day

So I am afraid that I am not nearly as clever as some of the other blog authors that I read. So I figure to help with my uncreative writing, I'll write about laundry day. Laundry day is full of true stories that I couldn't make up, if I tried.

A little background. When I first met KM I lived in an apartment with a laundry room for the residents. Then I met KM and discovered that he did his laundry at Harold's, which wins lots of awards from The Alibi for being the "Best in 'Burque." Harold's is located near-ish to the university and is open 24-hours. KM and I would go there and do our laundry on a Sunday night after FKM was asleep, so, around 10 pm or so. It was insane, but it was our "date." It was there that we first started talking about moving in together. One of the most memorable characters is the cross-dressing man. Now, he was not an attractive man, and unfortunately, made an even uglier woman. He would wear Daisy Dukes, but, er, he hadn't had any operations and it was kind of scary. And there were the crop tops that exposed a hair chest, the bad die job, the GINORMOUS glasses and the 5 o'clock shadow. He was entertaining.

Then KM and I moved in together and we had a washer and dryer in our place. But we moved over Christmas (don't EVER do that) and now I'm back to carting the laundry up to Harold's. Here, in no particular order, are the things I've seen the last 9 weeks.

1. The woman who apparently only does laundry once a quarter. She was using nearly every machine. She lived nearby because she would use the laundry carts to wheel her clean laundry across the street to her apartment, then come back for more. There was a lot of laundry.

2. One Sweater Girl: This is the girl who came in to dry just one sweater. That's all she had.

3. Scary parking lot guy. This guy is this weeks edition. He pulled in after I did and sat in his truck while I sat in my car eating my snack. He crawls out of his truck and I'm treated to a good 5 inches of ass-crack. Nice. Then I notice that he is dumping all of his laundry on to the ground on the passenger side. I start taking my laundry in and he asks if I need help. I assure him I'm fine and continue bringing in my stuff. Note to guys: don't ask strange women if they want help with their laundry. We will think you odd and that you only want to steal our panties. So I go about my business doing laundry. He positions his laundry so he can stare at me, creepy. So then I'm drying and sitting at a table and I knock a paper off, it wasn't mine, but he jumps up to pick it up for me. He sits at the computer desk the whole time staring at me. By this time I was sufficiently creeped out. He then selects the folding table NEXT to mine to fold his stuff. I was never so glad to get out of there.

4. Then there is Emo guy. I wasn't sure what to call him, but KM thinks he sounds Emo. I admit, I don't really understand Emo. But the guy had a dozen pairs of pants, all the same style, in wild shades. They are the pants from the 70's that are back. His were orange, turquoise and I think I saw a red pair.

5. Last week we had rude laundry people. These are the people who think that the entire laundry mat is for them and they can hog all of the machines and leave their baskets in the middle of the path.

So, there you have it. Laundry day. Tune in next week (or not) for the next addition.

Oh, knitting content. Well, I frogged the collar of the 800 pound gorilla and have redone it. Worked much better this time. I have maybe 2 more rows and it will be done, again. Then I can sew on my label and the button and get it out of here. I did get some work done on my FCSP's tote bag, it's crocheted.

That's it.

Thursday, February 22, 2007


Or how Emilee got her knitting ego kicked.

So last summer a co-worker bought me some yarn to make the Something Red sweater for another co-worker of ours, Stacy. Stacy is this cute little petite thing who would wear horrible boxy 80's era suit jackets when she was cold. So I began working on it. Here at the left you see attempt number 1. Stacy is small, so that's the size I made. As you can see I got to just below the sleeve stitches when I decided to try it on her. It was WAY too small. So we decided I should make the large and I ordered a few more balls of yarn.

It is important to note that I was pretty cocky at this point and thus far everything I had made had fit the intended recipient. Here we have attempt #2 I decided it didn't look much bigger than the last version, so I decided AFTER I had knit to the separating of sleeve stitches to check gauge. It was off, WAY the fuck off. I'm an idiot. So I changed to a bigger needle, did a gauge swatch and found that that worked. So I started over, again. Now, I did not frog either of these mistakes. Instead, I just started with a new ball of yarn. I figured I would frog when I needed the yarn, that way I would be nearly finished and it wouldn't be nearly as traumatic. I was correct.
I finished the sweater the night of the Grammy's. It's been blocked, but I don't like the way the collar is behaving, so I'm going to redo that part, probably this weekend.
Now Wendy gave it the ever-so-clever name of "Something Red" but I have renamed it: "The 800-pound Gorilla in My Knitting Bag."
I will be so glad to get this out of the house and off the to-do list.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Favorite Color Swap

Favorite Color Swap Questionnaire

So I was in the first Favorite Color swap and my pal was awesome. It was so cool opening a sea of purple. I decided to join again. Sorry I'm such a bad blogger, I'm really going to try and do better. Here's my questionnaire.

1. What are your top three favorite colors? Red is my all time favorite color, I own a lot of clothing, etc. Purple is a very close second. Then, hmmm, maybe pink.

2. What crafts do you really enjoy? Knitting is my top favorite. I love to knit and I knit socks. I've been knitting for 2 years, I'm not afraid to try new techniques, stitches. I'm almost done with the "Something Red" from Knit and tonic. I also crochet (learned to do that first, about 20 years ago), stamping and scrapbooking.

3. What products do you really covet? Hmm, I really want Lorna's Laces sock yarn in Red Rover. Ultimate dream would be to have a ball winder, LOL. I have sensational knitted socks and knitting vintage socks, but I'd like other sock knitting books, I hear Queen Kahuna's is really good as well as Kat Bhodi (not sure I spelled that right). I've also been looking for the sock yarn that has aloe in it, my LYS has ugly colors, LOL.

4. What other activities do you enjoy besides your favorite crafty things? Reading, watching drama shows on TV (Law and Order, CSI), hanging out with my guys.

5. Is there anything you collect? Anchor Hawking Press-Cut glass in starburst, Curious George (I LOVE monkeys), sock yarn, rubber stamps, Hard Rock Cafe hat pins and glasses

6. What is your zodiac sign and/or Chinese zodiac symbol? I'm a Scorpio

7.What are your favorite……
scents/smells?… Lavender and lilac are my favorite
types of music and/or bands?…VERY eclectic, I like classic rock, 80's pop, Celtic, classical, jazz, blues
authors?…Patricia Cornwell, Nora Roberts, Stephen King
places to shop?…Barns and Noble, Village Wools (local yarn store), Craft stores like Michaels or Hobby Lobby
season?…Spring and fall
yarn/fabric/paper/other craft supplies?…I use Stampin' Up? stamps, Creative Memories scrap supplies. I'm not a yarn snob except no fun fur, I really don't like fun fur, makes me itch, but an acrylic that is soft or a blend is ok, I have sensitive skin, so as long as it's soft, it's good.
candies or goodies? I am a total chocoholic

8. Do you have any wish lists? I had one on KnitPicks, but I'm not sure it's still there

9. Are you allergic to anything? I have bad seasonal allergies, so things scented with those oils are bad, especially pine, it's bad, no grass smells either

10. Do you have any pets? What are they? I have a dog named Velvet, 2 cats named Gryffin and Lupin (yep, I'm a Harry Potter fan) and a snake named Isis.

11. Please include anything else you would like your secret pal to know about you- anything that would be helpful in finding you little gifts that you will really enjoy. I really don't like things that are rose scented. I am also not Christian so please no Christian themed things.