Thursday, March 30, 2006

On my short lived single life

So in August of last year I divorced my husband of 9 years. We were together a few weeks shy of being together 11. WOW! That's a lot of time. Won't go into all of the dirty details but we'll leave it at he was a self-absorbed, narcissitic, emotionally abusive twit. But it took me a while to see that. You could say love is blind, and I guess in the beginning that was true.

It wasn't all bad, I guess. He did move me here to wonderful Albuquerque. I lived 24 years in Missouri. Albuquerque is home. There were some good times, but they were quickly over-shadowed by the bad.

So I got my own apartment in August. I was so excited. I had never lived on my own, having gone from my parents house to college with roomates, to living with the ex. So it was exciting to decorate it my way. And if there was a mess in the sink, it was MY mess.

I enjoyed my single life. I enjoyed the quiet and the solititude. After living with someone for so long who is very loud and very active, it was very nice to just have the quiet.

I would go home, go to the fitness center for a quick walk on the treadmill. Go home, make myself a little dinner, then curl up in my 1 chair for a little knitting and tv. And I'd go to bed early. It was nice. It was calm. It was centering. It was exactly what I needed at that point in my life.

And I wasn't lonely. I tend to be a loner in some way. I've never been a big party animal or the social butterfly.

But the thing that really sucked about being single? Having to kill my own spiders. So there I was in my apartment, doing my thing, talking to the cats when I realize, they aren't paying attention. This isn't unusual. My cats are self-centered. But then I realize what has their attention. A BIG FUCKING SPIDER. I scream, cats run. AND. NO. ONE. COMES. TO. HELP. ME. That was the moment I truly realized I was single. So I get out my swiffer (great tool for killing spiders on the ceiling, by the way). And I killed it. And I left its carcass on the wall. Yes, I know its bad luck to kill a spider. I'm a bad witch and I'll go to bad witch hell or something for killing a spider. But I really don't like them. I REALLY DON'T.

So now I live with two guys. Fortunately for me, KM will take the spider outside and relocate it. If it's really big and nasty, he has to kill it.

So, there you have it. The absolutely worst part of being single, LOL. Killing your own spiders.

But just 7 months after having my own place, I move in with KM and FKM. I enjoyed my time in my own place. It was good to know that I could do it. I proved it to myself.

And now I can get on with the fabulous joy of being with KM and FKM.

Here's little knitting update:
On the needles: Socks, scarf, and a baby blanket I'm going to frog and find a crochet pattern for instead.


Kat said...

Hi Emilee,
Welcome to New Mexico...I'm Wiccan, a quilter and knitter with a (second marriage) husband who is a great cook. Originally from San Diego, this is truly the best place to be!
Blessed be,

roccermom said...

for me, it's lightbulbs. Can't stand to change a lightbulb. i catch and release the spiders, unless it's a black widow. they are squish-on-sight status. And i'm right there with ya on the speaking spanish. and i even took four years of it in school.